Arun attributes breaking up with me to my mental health. I apologised to him for it.
I attribute it to his lies, his deception, his immaturity (the many girls chasing him), his cheating ways (how he hurts his wife and other women).
There is no going back to him romantically. I've had enough of his avoidance, of him ghosting me, of the drama of the highs and lows. He could have simply called me back yesterday and that would show he honored our friendship.
And how he has moved on to another girl... i think that says it... there is no romantic future with him.
I also know from living life that one must be happy with what one has otherwise it pains us and the people around us. So im happy he exists. Im happy for having experienced this relationship but im tired of being ignored and ghosted.
I wish he was happy with his wife and wasn't always seeking pleasure outside his marriage. Why is he like this? So fleeting, so shallow, so avoidant!
Im grateful to him for having opened my heart but today as i see it he is not the benchmark of love. Love comes with honesty and trust, both of which he didn't give me.
I don't think there is any future for us but ill keep praying for him as someone i deeply loved. Im feeling so detached from him. I am tired.... and exhausted emotionally.
I really want closure. And i really want to move on.
I really hope he always wears the shirts i bought him because i really love him. I'll wear his clothes.
May he be happy, healthy, prosperous, safe, secure and full of love.
I still care.
I am feeling:
Happy
Heart contracted
Eager for the future
A sense of loss
And finality
And closure
I am grateful for God's infinite love, grace and blessings on my life.
Love,
Me.
1.25 pm
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