Journal 2.50 pm on 25.8.2026 Im trying to get closure

Dear Journal,

DiPan came home. I so love her as a humanbeing. I told her about how I'm feeling so sexually aroused and so alone.

She told me that the next relationship in my life will be determined by what I do during this single phase.

I lamented on the low standard of men around me, how men chase me much to my chagrin.

And to prove my point PaPa kept calling up throughout the meeting.

As I was talking to DiPan I realised that I should not be foolish. Arun is married and he has roving eyes. If I pursue him I'll only get burnt. So it's imperative that I let him go. I'm the last person to chase him.

Anyhow we didnt really chant that much. And DiPan and me spoke about Buddha wisdom and common sense. How we are so averse to touch by the wrong men.

Things will work out in due time. I know that. I wont masturbate, I wont watch porn and I wont waste my time with the wrong men. I will protect my energy, hone myself while being Boddhisattva Never Disparaging. I wont let any man take advantage of me.

I'd rather be at home by myself than out with the wrong man. The last thing I want to be is desperate.

I'm an M Type woman. So I'll fill my days with creativity and it  will all work out despite my wavy life line. I'll prove my wavy life line wrong! I will prosper despite my wavy life line!

I am the eyes of society. I am the pillar of society. I am the great ship of society.

I forgive all those who have hurt me. I seek forgiveness from all those I've hurt. I forgive myself.

I am grateful for all the good fortune in my life.

I am grateful for loving relationships based on mutual respect and mutual trust.

I am grateful for the abundance of all good things in my life

I think if I pray to let go of Arun I'll be able to do that. So I'll let him go. So it's adieu to him. It's exactly 3.06 pm.

Nobody reads this Journal. Some day I'll pore through these pages and reminisce.

These are the best days of mylife and I cherish each person and each moment.

I am grateful for God's infinite love, Grace and blessings on my life. 

I am feeling:

Sexual

Happy

Clearheaded

Grateful for my Buddhist practice.

Grateful for all my students and all my teachers.

I am grateful for all the people I work with across the three existences.

Love,

Me.

3.14 pm