What has really happened to me? If I have to put it simply I'm feeling so horny for Arun. Why is that? Does he think about me? Something has definitely shifted between the two of us. I wish I could see his cute shweet face. He is such a cute humanbeing.
Then... I just dont feel like chanting when I think of praying to let Arun go. It seems like the Gohonzon wants me to wish him really really well.
Then come his timestamps. He hasn't checked whatsapp since 10 am. Why is that?
Im missing him so deeply. I adore this man so darned deeply. He means the world to me.
PaPa asked me to meet him today. I was skeptical. I thought if he hits on me I'll just give him a piece of my mind. But he told me that his parents have found him a nice girl and he is getting married in a few months.
That is simply excellent for him! I'm so happy for him!
I want to talk to Arun. I want to hear his voice. I'm kind of singlemindedly thinking about him for a very long time now. I want to smell him. I want to see his cute face.
His photographs are so cute. He is so handsome. My charming ex boyfriend.
And at this point believe you me dear Journal I'm feeling so sexually charged towards him. I want him. I want to kiss him. I want to tell him I love him and I want him to know how much I love him. I hope these feelings dont end in disappointment.
I am feeling:
Like my heart belongs to Arun
So darned horny
So sexually charged after such a long time. In fact I've never felt this before.
Head over heels in love with Arun
Don't want to fight with Ma over my room
I think I'll meditate a little now, chant and sleep.
I spent the whole day watching Tarot videos.
I am grateful for God's infinite love, Grace and blessings on my life.
Love,
Me.
9.13 pm
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