Journal 10.59 pm on 30.7.2026 Im a bit too much

Dear Journal,

I really feel embarrassed that I laid my feelings bare to Arun. And I regret the hurtful heartbreak words I told him. Really, I'm a bit too much.

He doesn't want a relationship. He has made that quite clear many times. It's exactly 11.

I don't want my heart broken again. I don't want to be rejected again.

I hope life turns out fine. I did not read Shakespeare today. ChatGpt consumed all my time. I wish I hadn't messaged Arun for so long. Do you think he reads my messages?

I need space, he needs space.

I bumped into RaTi and Warshikey today. I'll call up RaTi tomorrow.

I really hope life turns out fine. Life is what happens to you while you are busy making other plans.

I think I'll stop obsessing over Arun and just pull out the damned textbook tomorrow and pore over it.

Whatever resolution happens I'll accept it. I don't want Arun to break my heart. He wants distance. I won't contact him.

I hope to lead a successful life.

I am grateful for God's infinite Love, Grace and blessings on my life.

I am grateful for my students and work.

I am grateful for food, shelter and money.

I am grateful that I'm serious about quitting smoking.

I am grateful for my friends, family and Arun.

I don't want to be cheated upon. I don't want my heart broken. 

I am grateful for life and love.

I am grateful that I have friends.

I am grateful that people are accepting of me.

What you think about yourself in your head is what you project to the outside world. It's exactly 11.11.

So it's best to carve out the best image of yourself to the world. No matter what happens with Arun I'll accept the outcome.

Love,

Me.

11.12 pm