Today I kind of scraped through in a good way. The ICSE literature syllabus is enormous and difficult with tough poetry and Shakespeare. I need to really prepare for that.
And what is with the premonitions-- seeing things in my dreams before they actually happen!
I was thinking so obsessively about Arun this past week and half way into my classes today I identified it as a sexual yearning for him. And then it waned. I really don't want him to possess my heart and mind so.
Swara and Arya are angels. The third class today had problematic students. They said they don't love themselves and one of them plain refused to study today. I will employ my patience and kindness with my students. May I guide them well.
Right now my top priorities are Ma and Pa-- I have a great responsibility towards my parents. And then my students are my second topmost priority. Fun. Teaching them is pure fun.
I read a beautiful quote by Alan Watts today that implied that in muddy water the mud settles when still, unmoving and quiet. Just like that people who are still, unmoving and quiet play a vital role in society.
What that means is that chanting, praying, taking action-- yeah... but sometimes I need to still myself and relax for the muck in my life to settle so that I can see clearly.
Now, I'll bathe, chant, read and sleep. I must work hard! I must be a dedicated, supportive teacher for my students!
Today Kyra said I don't look a day above 28 and the students were shocked to learn that I am 41. But come on! I think I look my age.
One of the students Divyansh is very talented.
Next week I better be well-prepared! I saw Divyansh in my dreams even before I met him today. That's so Goddarned eerie....
I must polish my life to such an extent that my students do well!
I messaged Tejaurad but she hasn't replied.
To a good night!
I am feeling:
Happy
Loving
Nervous
Stimulated at the thought of Arun
Yearning for mental peace and happiness
Determined to prepare well for next week.
And oh yes! I so easily went without cigarettes for 6 hours today. Shows that quitting will be easy.
I am grateful for God's infinite Love, Grace and Blessings on my life.
Love,
Me.
10.47 pm
No comments:
Post a Comment