I ended things with Arun. I exited from his life. I wont call him, I wont message him, I wont meet him.
There is no point in fantasizing about him or holding expectations. Expectations from people bring a lot of grief.
The way he spoke to me yesterday showed that he doesnt value my phone calls and messages and me keeping in touch.
I'm feeling a strange kind of grieving peace after ending things.
Some people just come into your life for a season.
Arun must be so relieved. What would he want from crazy me?! Nothing. All I had to offer him was my love. But he didn't want that. He has his wife, he has his Candy and he has his many other girls.
I just hope I'm fine and that Monday goes well.
He said that there is nothing for us to discuss which means he doesnt want any dialogue from me. Today I think I gave him a lot of drama messaging him but even that has stopped. I wont message him ever again.
Without keeping in touch with him I'll keep blessing him. May he live the happiest life possible for him.
I'm feeling so unbeautiful, like a total jhalli.
I don't want him to see me this way.
In the end I'm left with myself-- all alone.
The moment I put I'm experiencing the breakup of a breakup on Facebook as a post people started messaging me. But I'm not interested in idle banter or even in love for that matter. Future love will come when it has to... I won't push it. I intend to stay away from dating apps and embrace myself.
All this love for Arun, I intend to give to myself. I don't feel the love but I know I love him. And it's over. No further discussion on that.
I am feeling:
Heart hurt
Loving
Happy
Serious
I am grateful for God's infinite Love, Grace and Blessings on my life.
Love,
Me.
11.37 pm
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