Any kind of love... anything I ever had in my heart for you I'm going to kill... I don't think you deserve my love... don't say Hi if you see me... don't try to get in touch... it's truly over forever! YOU ARE DEAD TO ME
These are the contents of my last message to Arun. He told me that we have nothing to discuss and he was outright rude and insulting.
I hope I don't slip into a depression. It's over. I'll never talk to him ever again. As he was blasting me on the phone I felt a strange kind of depression creeping on to me and I don't think I deserve to be treated that way.
I'll never talk to him ever again. NEVER EVER WILL I MESSAGE HIM. NEVER EVER WILL I FANCY HIM. NEVER AGAIN WILL I LOVE HIM THE WAY I DID TILL YESTERDAY.
It's over. Really over. Truly over.
I don't want him to ever contact me. I don't want to see his face.
I hope I'm fine. I really want to be fine.
I am feeling:
A whole lot of love which has no direction.
Reasonably happy but teary.
I am grateful for God's infinite Love, Grace and Blessings on my life.
Love,
Me.
8.45 pm
After cutting contact with Arun I went to meet SeeDhi. She told me that I am not getting anything from Arun-- no companionship, nothing material, no love so much so that she has noticed I've stopped caring for myself. She told me to love myself and respect my own life and to be happy and take care of myself. May Arun be truly happy. May be a clean ending is best. Now I'll sit and chant and then go to sleep. If I had not blocked Arun I would feel depressed. I feel just fine now. No point pushing anything. May he truly be happy.
10.14 pm
No comments:
Post a Comment