I can try and get over Arun by bringing him down, but I wont do that because I can see his heart.
The same Arun who is arrogant, is the same Arun who is vulnerable. The same Arun who hurts me, made efforts to win over my heart years ago.
How things change as time flies! Ill always love Arun for his good memories. And Ill always wish him well.
The standard of the average man here in India is very poor so much so that I feel I wont find any man. PawPa and DeJh, AnMis and Sumku-- these men give me a headache.
There is so much poverty in this country and I guess that is why arrogant Arun works well here where people just want to ogle at a superstar.
If things were just like this with Arun 5 years from now, would I be happy? I dont think so. That is why I wont call him or message him ever again. Again he made me cry yesterday.
I'm getting a proper headache.
I went to Kandivli today. I met my students and spent some time with Tanya.
I'm so enjoying my visualisation exercises and chanting practice.
If things were just like this in my life 5 years from now, would I be happy? No. That is why I have to bring about changes.
My 5 point rule--
1. Bathe everyday and look pretty.
2. Pray each day.
3. Meditate each day.
4. Write professionally each day.
5. And always operate from a place of love and understanding.
It's not up to me to figure out what will happen with Arun or Ma or anybody who hurts me. But it is up to me to make the right causes in each moment.
Now I'll just sit and meditate and chant.
It should be a good good evening!
I just want to be able to make enough this coming month, so that I can pay Arun back. That will be a huge relief to me!
I am feeling:
Happy
Loving
I am grateful for God's infinite love, Grace and blessings on my life.
Love,
Me.
5.13 pm
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