Today I went to meet my therapist. She refused to take money from me today. And she gave me two huge kisses on my cheek. She also told me that as my therapist she cant really be my friend, but she would love to.
I wonder what she sees in me.
So today I had an anxiety attack that lasted three hours. It's accompanied by the feeling of sexuality and my ears ringing as if God is trying to get in touch with me.
To that NiJa said that I should masturbate. She also encouraged me to go on dating apps to meet guys.
Im not quite ready to do that. Because dating means sex and I cant have sex with anyone but you.
Then I came back and started reading some erotic literature so that i could jerk off. But I couldnt.
You dont know what a huge Arun void youve left in me. Neither can I pleasure myself, I cant watch porn and I cant date anyone.
Im not over you yet. She told me to put myself out there and make some friends instead of feeling so lonely.
Hey Arun, do you know something? You are the cutest of God's creations. You are rock star solid material. I dont think Ill ever get over you. I love you.
And ive decided to be really kind to you in my memoir. Do you realise how much I love you?
So then I see myself making it as a writer and minting money. Please pray for me Arun.
I always pray for you. Always.
Will you marry me? Those words have been stopped from escaping my lips on many dates.
I cant live without you.
Did you like the Arun jokes I sent you from ChatGpt?
My shonapie. Instead of messaging you, I think Ill write you letters. Do you really view me as a burden?
Muwaaaah... my shonapie.
Love,
Me.
9.23 pm
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